THE SOUND OF MUSIC
Wow, is my neighbor's piano the most annoying thing ever, or what?

She doesn't play badly, but she doesn't play especially well. Last September was when I first started noticing it, and it was because for hours and hours and hours at a time, all she played was a sort of jazz-piano abstract "Battle Hymn of the Republic." It was a nice arrangement -- once. Played constantly, it got really. Freakin. Annoying.

One weekend that stopped, and I concluded that she'd been practicing for some church thing. Periodically there'd be piano-sounds coming through the walls again, but they were never at unreasonable hours, so I couldn't really complain. When it drove me totally bonkers, I could turn the TV up, or put plugs in my ears, or -- in extreme cases -- leave the house. I didn't notice how little she'd been playing for a few months until recently she started up again.

Tonight it's "Take Me Away," by the Dixie Chicks -- a song I like a great deal, as performed by the original artists. My neighbor's rendition is heavy on the bass, loopy in the right hand, and, shall we say, not served well by the vocal. Put another way: she can play the piano okay, but the girl can't sing.

Makes me think I should resume practicing my bagpipes ...