IDENTICAL TWINS JOIN CHRONICLE STAFF
Ongoing war in Israel, with two peoples' survival on the line.

Kid in Germany shoots up a school that houses children as young as ten. (Incidentally, why does the discussion of school shootings never include Dunblane, where before killing himself the shooter killed sixteen five- and six-year-olds and their teacher -- who had tried to shield them with her body -- and wounded a dozen others? That, my friends, was a school shooting. The fact that the shooter was not a current or recent student of the school is immaterial.)

The Catholic Church has disappointed much of its flock with its handling of the pedophilia crisis in the American priesthood.

But thank god for McPaper, without which we wouldn't know that cheerleading is really a sport.

(Note: I am relieved that the online version of the paper has the German school shooting, the economy, the war, and some wildfires in Colorado on its main page. The dead-tree edition, though, has the cheerleading item on the front page, above the fold, with a big color photo and the heading "cover story". My whole morning commute was spent boggling at this.)

[UPDATE: There is a prize, by the way, for the first person to correctly identify the allusion in the title of this entry.]